Friday, 29 July 2016

Back in dis shithole

Flew back home today and this all still feels unreal. 
I was still in Brisbane 12 hours ago.
I would endure another 8 hour flight right now to be back there.

No words can describe how fucking depressed I feel about being back.

Wednesday, 22 June 2016

I'm so bored I just might need to go get that 'Knit-your-own-dog' kit.

Monday, 13 June 2016

more noods






Final images for my Lighting as Visual Language class.
Self portraits inspired by Archer Magazine.

So I completed my semester here about 2 weeks ago and I cannot believe that it has flown by just like that.
Have learnt so much in uni here because it's just so different from back home.

One and a half more months before I fly back home to complete this thing known as my degree and I'm still struggling to comprehend how I feel about this whole thing.
Actually, I just feel like crying thinking about it. I will miss the supportive tutors and the crazy positive classmates (I swear these australian peers are the nicest people in class) and all the people I have come to known/have met
These past 4 months have been incredible and crazy and the next month is just going to be chilling around in Brisbane until Jon comes to travel with me.
Occasionally, I sit down and think about how to stay longer in this country I feel so at home in but reality hits me and I know I have to go back to Singapore for at least a year more to complete my fucking degree.

The current plan is to finish that and then apply for my masters here because that's the only way I'm going to get into this country long term (because Australia does not consider me a "skilled worker" lol art school what have you done to my life). The other option is to marry an Australian guy but that's not happening anytime soon hahahahaha.
The pressure of it all is probably getting to me a little too much because it's on my mind almost 24/7.
Quarter life crisis man, quarter life crisis.
Also, people around me are getting engaged/married and it is scaring me a little lol.

Anyway, fuck this I'm going to get ready and go shopping. I need to buy some milk.

Sunday, 22 May 2016

n00dz



Candid shot from a test shoot for a self-portrait assignment.
My lighting skills are still pretty shit.
Assignments are probably the only thing keeping me sane right now.

Wednesday, 11 May 2016

life love life and love what is life

Tonight I had a talk with Celestine about love and life.
We talked about airy fairy things like how we want to find someone whose soul matches ours.
It sounds like bull but you get the drift.

We shared a lot with each other in a span of about 2 hours.
I really cannot get back the words that came out my mouth right now but I don't think I have ever been so honest about how I felt about all this in awhile.

All I can say is that I am resigned to my fate hahaha.
I am alright with being alone.
I will be ok.

And I am so glad that eventually I have found a much deeper understanding for my own life and myself.
It feels good to be this self-aware and this honest.
Because being honest to yourself will only save your heart.

Friday, 29 April 2016

UPDATE

Hello.
So if you are interested to know if I'm doing okay.
WELL YES I AM!

Have just been slumped with uni stuff and also keeping up with life down under.
It seems like time is passing all too fast and I really am not looking forward to going back to Singapore.
Not one bit.
I can't believe I'm already at the halfway mark.

I arrived in Brisbane alone, not knowing anyone and with completely no expectations.
Only in the short 2.5 months here, I have discovered more than I could have expected.
I have seen many wonderful places and met many wonderful people.
I have thoroughly felt and enjoyed the grace of this city.
Am I sounding a little emotional? Maybe it's because I'm listening to piano music right now. I'm in the middle of writing an essay haha.
But who would have thought I would grow so attached to this place and to want to call it my home.
I feel like I know this place already even though there is so much more to see.

I guess being here has also made me realise how fucking trivial my own problems are and how the world has so much more to offer.
A lot is weighing on my mind and I don't know if I'm going through a quarter life crisis (hey only 3 more years to being 25 geez).

The only thing I'm falling short on is taking photos here. I brought so much film with me!
But then again I have also started to take more pleasure in experiences rather than photographs.
I have began to appreciate moments more when I don't have to worry about making a good image and that itself is a very important lesson for me.
I have placed so much of my time in capturing moments in time and people I love when I could have invested myself in those experiences more.

Hopefully I'll be taking more photographs (outside of school assignments pfftt) and getting back to documenting my life more.

PS: this piano music is making me really miss playing the piano. But really, I have no time!!!!!! Well I'll try to make time I promise.

Sunday, 24 April 2016

Shit

People are full of shit.
People are shit.
Different people have different shit.
It's hard to find someone whose shit matches yours.
Well, shit.