Saturday, 26 April 2014

I wish


A photo that I found on Tumblr and really really love.
Besides, Corgis are my favourite.
Today was a quiet Saturday and I just finished reading The Hunger Games in preparation for my paper on Wednesday.
It was an enjoyable read, and touched my heart a little with the romance between Katniss & Peeta.
I wish everyday was like today -  waking up late, having a huge breakfast and ice cream, listening to music and reading a book.
I wish I feel the same amount of peace this corgi must have felt when this photo was taken.
And I wish I had someone to share things with again.

Saturday, 19 April 2014

Stay with me




I spent the night alone outside today after having sushi with my friends.
I think it helped clear my mind a little.
And I came home to this song by Sam Smith.
I know the song is about a one night stand (lol) but I think it kind of resonates with how I'm feeling right now.

This blog has been filled with music as of late.
Not sure why but I have been very drawn to music as a way of expressing myself.
And I really wish I could sing well... Just so I had an outlet through my voice.

Friday, 18 April 2014


Spent the day lazing around, listening to random songs and overthinking thoughts floating in my mind.
I know I sound really insane recently but really, I think I'm just broken.
I have tried so many things to fix myself and I'm still trying.
Music is one of the things that's helping a whole lot, though.
Especially Joseph Vincent's voice.... Thaaaaaat voice.

And thinking about going out to take photos. That helps too.
Being alone might help, I'm still undecided.


Thursday, 17 April 2014

Already gone.




Photos from a while back when Sadrina & I went on an adventure.
Alas, foundation submissions are over today and I have 2 weeks to prepare for Art history and Film & Lit.
More things to keep my mind occupied.
Because I think I have been dealt enough blows for the month.
I'm keeping my head high, my mind resilient and my emotions under.
And I think I'm doing a good job at it.

I don't know what to think anymore, everything is already gone.
The only things keeping me sane now are my friends and my desire for the camera.
What I cannot find beautiful in my own life, I will capture in my photos.

Saturday, 12 April 2014

Dear Dorothy

Can you please get yourself out of this deep shit pit that you have dug for yourself?
You deserve so much more happiness and love than what you think you deserve right now.
Why do you care so much?
Why do you give in so much?
Why do you bother?
And why are you such a sucker for being misled?

Why, why, why, why do you keep getting used and treated as so dispensable?

Why can't you read people well?
You wish you were psychic, right.
Being psychic would save your ass.
Being psychic would be so empowering. HAHAHA

Please be happy forever.
You never want to feel sad ever again.
And you will find someone who will make you the happiest person in the world.

- Thoughts in my mind on a random Saturday night.
And of course accompanied by the plethora of things I have to complete for my plethora of submissions next week.
Wish me luck because I really need it right now.



Thursday, 10 April 2014

Amazed.





I heard this song while in the gym today and I was hooked.

Can't believe I am still such a sucker for love songs.



Anyway, been amazed at my strength and the honesty I have with myself as well as my close friends.

Love them to death.

Final assignments are going to be over soon and I can't wait to take a break.

Things have been going somewhat smoothly for me I must say.

Still finding myself and my place in the world.

Monday, 7 April 2014

Addicted to you




A photo that I took knowing it wouldn't make it into my assignment.
I like it nonetheless.
Getting back on my feet has been tolerable.
I don't even feel depressed, that's the thing.
I guess my situation is similar to this photo now.
The duality of it all is destroying me.

School has been somewhat comforting, though.
These last 2 weeks are going to pass soon and I will be on my way to getting a better grip on myself.
My only weakness right now is that I let my emotions take over too often.
And most of the time it's the worst thing I can do to myself.


Friday, 4 April 2014

Right now I'm feeling thoroughly fucked over.
Like I mentally got run over by a fucking truck.
I am just having the hardest time alone right now and it sucks.
It's not even because I still love you.
I just cannot deal with the loss of someone I knew to be so close.
It's not the individual, it's the idea of an individual.

Yet I can't stop putting the blame on myself and seeing fault with myself.
But I know I am not to blame.
How did I even let myself sink so low.
I have no idea, neither do I want to think about it.

Right now I just need a tall buff handsome boy that I can lie on and roll into a ball and weep.
That's my idea of a relief right now.
HAHAHAHAHA

Tuesday, 1 April 2014

Free

A huge relief.
And to a brand new beginning.
And to higher self worth and more love!

I can't be happier.