Sunday, 30 August 2015

Suddenly feeling very sentimental but simultaneously keeping in mind the art of not giving a fuck.
When will everything be all right?

Also on my mind is how I'll probably be studying in Brisbane alone in about 5 months.
And I'm very excited.

Thursday, 20 August 2015

y u need to dig shit up

Yesterday, my mum asked me (3 months late) whether I was ok after the break up.
"Ya ok", I answered.
Then she proceeded to ask me a few other too-personal questions that I always want to avoid.
I love my mum but she gotta let me be an adult now, I'm 21 mum.
She also asked if I still talk to him.
"lol no for what" was my reply.

I think my mum was just surprised at how cool I was about everything, given my not-so-cool history in dealing with things like this.
But it's all cool.
Honestly, life now has been treating me well (despite the occasional "I WANT TO GET MARRIED" whine, especially the other day with my tattoo artist).

And even though I have learnt so much and grown into someone different, I feel like I will never possess that same innocence again.
I'm not sure whether that is a good thing.
I kind of liked that naivety I had when I was with Bregy, it brought much more hope.
But at the same, I'm wiser now, and I guess I feel it's better than that ridiculous innocence (which does not work in the real world, come on people).

I also realise I've become more cynical, morbid and dark.
It pushes me over the edge sometimes and I kind of love it.

In other news, I just submitted my application for exchange in Semester 2.
And I know you must be thinking, dorothy why the fuck did you apply to Brisbane when your ex is there?
Well I don't give a fuck lol I wanna go there.
But in all seriousness, they have a College of Art and I feel like I will thoroughly enjoy it.
My 2nd choice being Sydney but let's see where the universe takes me.
I might not even end up going at all hahahahaha because that's how fickle I am.

Monday, 17 August 2015


Never be ashamed of who you are.
And never let anyone take away your sparkle.
Always shine bright like a diamond.

And remember, diamonds are the hardest known natural material.

Wednesday, 12 August 2015

No fucks given.

The other day, Jon sent me the link to an article.
Click here for it.

It is aptly titled 'The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck'.
Basically I confided in him about recent frustrations I was dealing with and this article gave me some enlightenment.
Read it if you feel like you're dealing with issues that you are frustrated over but are helpless about.

Well, I've just realised people disappoint one time too many, and most people you know aren't who they appear to be.
People are assholes, people lack basic courtesy and respect, people disappoint.
And I have learnt to accept that, to ration the fucks I give because I simply do not have the time or energy to waste fucks on people who don't deserve it.
Giving out fucks is precious. There are only so many fucks I can give.
Your fucks are precious so do not waste them on assholes or douchebags.
Save your fucks, make them worthwhile.
Give a fuck about people who are worthy.

And so I promised myself not to give a fuck about whatever was worrying me any more and move on.
Fucks are not to be wasted.
Your fucks are earned.

Give your fucks out wisely.
And fuck the rest.

Monday, 10 August 2015


This is how I feel about starting school tomorrow.
I am not prepared.
Anxiety, anxiety, anxiety.

Currently have James Bay on repeat and the occasional Sam Smith providing me with some comfort.

Thursday, 6 August 2015

Back from the hospital

I got hospitalised yesterday morning at 2am because of severe pain under my right ribs.
It was hell.
I couldn't even sit or lay down without pain and I had to stand and walk around.

Just got discharged this evening and I hope everything's fine and dandy inside my body.
The doctors could not find anything wrong but they suspected a bone inflammation.
I'll just have to keep an eye on it for the next 2 weeks.

Staying in the hospital was hell because of all the fasting I had to do due to the tests I had to take.
I might have lost like 10kg in there lol.

At least all is good now.
And I am no longer in any more pain.
The only questions I kept getting from my friends were "IS THE HOSPITAL NICE?"

No, of course it's not nice. You think hotel isit? hahahahahaha
Gotta love my friends.

Saturday, 1 August 2015


Brisbane. Beautiful. Beautiful. Beautiful.
My only complaint is the food, Melbourne still wins hands down for that.
Aren't you totally jealous of Chengyee? Having a photographer friend gets you pretty photos of yourself x9999.

Also, don't you love my 50mm for taking photos of flowers?
I don't normally photograph flowers but this depth of field is gorgeous.

Uploading all these photos are making me miss Australia so much, kinda wish I missed my flight home (I almost did).
And today, I feel very thankful because someone special made my day.
It's funny how this beautiful country removed a toxic person from my life, and gave me someone who facetimes me when drunk and tells me that I'm the most beautiful thing when I've just finished an 8 hour job and look like a hideous mess.