Friday, 16 December 2016

Strange


Me somewhere in the Blue Mountains in Sydney, taken by Jon because I liked the light on the tree.
I miss Australia. Very very very very much.
Every.
Single.
Day.

Actually deep down inside i am an aussie.
oz oz oz, oi oi oi!

I promise I am trying to get through all the Australia photos albeit very slowly.
I think I just have this fear of revisiting and looking at those photographs because every time I do that, my heart aches just a little bit more.

I wish I was easily satisfied.
I want everything to go my way.
I wonder, is this part of being an adult?????
I don't know. Maybe.

Sunday, 4 December 2016

I am trying to make sense of life right now.
This has probably been the most eventful year in my life so far.

Saturday, 22 October 2016

3am writings



So this semester has been a hell of a whirlwind.
Every week I am thoroughly exhausted and wish I could really sleep forever.
But then I think about the future life I have to live and it provides that little bit of sustenance.

I have always said that my life plan is but a plan; nothing is set in stone.
And it scares me.
I'm afraid of not knowing and not having complete control.
Does that make me a control freak?

Still, I am thankful I found someone who I can be brutally honest with.
And Darren reads me pretty damn well in the short span of time we have known each other.
Like I say, I am an open book.

I think I am still getting used to this new kind of love.
This love that is assuring and peaceful, calm and collected.
Nothing that uproots you. But it is strange indeed.
It is strange to me.
But eventually, I know deep down that this is the kind of love that could possibly weather the storms in this blackhole we call our world, through the beings we call 'fellow men'(whom are not even close to any sense of the word 'fellow').

We don't know, but we will find out.

Friday, 16 September 2016

wtf

i can never understand how someone can hold so much power over you.
which is why i'm so cautious of relationships and miss being single a lot.

if the person you love can't see you as imperfectly perfect then they don't deserve you and you don't deserve to be wasting your damn time gurl

Friday, 29 July 2016

Back in dis shithole

Flew back home today and this all still feels unreal. 
I was still in Brisbane 12 hours ago.
I would endure another 8 hour flight right now to be back there.

No words can describe how fucking depressed I feel about being back.

Wednesday, 22 June 2016

I'm so bored I just might need to go get that 'Knit-your-own-dog' kit.

Monday, 13 June 2016

more noods






Final images for my Lighting as Visual Language class.
Self portraits inspired by Archer Magazine.

So I completed my semester here about 2 weeks ago and I cannot believe that it has flown by just like that.
Have learnt so much in uni here because it's just so different from back home.

One and a half more months before I fly back home to complete this thing known as my degree and I'm still struggling to comprehend how I feel about this whole thing.
Actually, I just feel like crying thinking about it. I will miss the supportive tutors and the crazy positive classmates (I swear these australian peers are the nicest people in class) and all the people I have come to known/have met
These past 4 months have been incredible and crazy and the next month is just going to be chilling around in Brisbane until Jon comes to travel with me.
Occasionally, I sit down and think about how to stay longer in this country I feel so at home in but reality hits me and I know I have to go back to Singapore for at least a year more to complete my fucking degree.

The current plan is to finish that and then apply for my masters here because that's the only way I'm going to get into this country long term (because Australia does not consider me a "skilled worker" lol art school what have you done to my life). The other option is to marry an Australian guy but that's not happening anytime soon hahahahaha.
The pressure of it all is probably getting to me a little too much because it's on my mind almost 24/7.
Quarter life crisis man, quarter life crisis.
Also, people around me are getting engaged/married and it is scaring me a little lol.

Anyway, fuck this I'm going to get ready and go shopping. I need to buy some milk.

Sunday, 22 May 2016

n00dz



Candid shot from a test shoot for a self-portrait assignment.
My lighting skills are still pretty shit.
Assignments are probably the only thing keeping me sane right now.

Wednesday, 11 May 2016

life love life and love what is life

Tonight I had a talk with Celestine about love and life.
We talked about airy fairy things like how we want to find someone whose soul matches ours.
It sounds like bull but you get the drift.

We shared a lot with each other in a span of about 2 hours.
I really cannot get back the words that came out my mouth right now but I don't think I have ever been so honest about how I felt about all this in awhile.

All I can say is that I am resigned to my fate hahaha.
I am alright with being alone.
I will be ok.

And I am so glad that eventually I have found a much deeper understanding for my own life and myself.
It feels good to be this self-aware and this honest.
Because being honest to yourself will only save your heart.

Friday, 29 April 2016

UPDATE

Hello.
So if you are interested to know if I'm doing okay.
WELL YES I AM!

Have just been slumped with uni stuff and also keeping up with life down under.
It seems like time is passing all too fast and I really am not looking forward to going back to Singapore.
Not one bit.
I can't believe I'm already at the halfway mark.

I arrived in Brisbane alone, not knowing anyone and with completely no expectations.
Only in the short 2.5 months here, I have discovered more than I could have expected.
I have seen many wonderful places and met many wonderful people.
I have thoroughly felt and enjoyed the grace of this city.
Am I sounding a little emotional? Maybe it's because I'm listening to piano music right now. I'm in the middle of writing an essay haha.
But who would have thought I would grow so attached to this place and to want to call it my home.
I feel like I know this place already even though there is so much more to see.

I guess being here has also made me realise how fucking trivial my own problems are and how the world has so much more to offer.
A lot is weighing on my mind and I don't know if I'm going through a quarter life crisis (hey only 3 more years to being 25 geez).

The only thing I'm falling short on is taking photos here. I brought so much film with me!
But then again I have also started to take more pleasure in experiences rather than photographs.
I have began to appreciate moments more when I don't have to worry about making a good image and that itself is a very important lesson for me.
I have placed so much of my time in capturing moments in time and people I love when I could have invested myself in those experiences more.

Hopefully I'll be taking more photographs (outside of school assignments pfftt) and getting back to documenting my life more.

PS: this piano music is making me really miss playing the piano. But really, I have no time!!!!!! Well I'll try to make time I promise.

Sunday, 24 April 2016

Shit

People are full of shit.
People are shit.
Different people have different shit.
It's hard to find someone whose shit matches yours.
Well, shit.

Friday, 8 April 2016

Melbourne - March 2016


Visited Melbourne over the easter and mid semester break.
We did so much in such a short period of time - exhausting but rewarding.
Great Ocean Road was one of the most beautiful places I've been to.
I also got to take selfies with a wild bird but I'll post those another time.
Meanwhile, these are just from my camera.






























































Australia, you never cease to amaze me.