Tuesday, 8 August 2017

Unworthy (just some thoughts I needed to type out)

Tonight, a friend revealed to me how he found out about his ex's cheating.
What followed was a series of "it's not worth it" and "TRIGGERED" (all for laughs though haha). What I found in the humourous (but simultaneously, serious) exchange was a weird unity that made me decide enough was enough.

My ex has been viewing my Instagram stories for 2 months now (ever since the breakup) and has been stalking my friends as well. I have seen his name pop up every single day on my list and tonight I decided enough was enough.
In the beginning, it was fine because I knew I was happy with how things were moving in my life and it was something to prove.
As time passed, seeing that name grew tiring and frustrating.
And tonight I realised I had nothing to prove to this person.
What he is, is a fragment of my past. An undeserving, unworthy fragment. A person whose name I'd rather not be associated with, let alone see pop up on my phone.
Someone who is undeserving to be a voyeur of the quaint little life I have now created for myself.
And so, I have removed him from all forms of social media for good and with a sigh of great relief.

I told Jon: "never have I ever felt this way towards someone in my life". Honestly. So thoroughly and utterly disgusted with someone.
So, I'm done with the rant haha. It was a significant moment in time for me tonight as I walked home under the full moon (i love the moon so dearly), so I thought it needed to be written down.

And to D (my friend mentioned earlier in the beginning, who also happens to share the exact same birthdate as me!!!!!!!! are we soulmates now haha), if you ever read this, know that no unworthy person deserves your fucking time or effort or energy so don't waste time thinking about them ok pls omg go make yourself happy!!

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